Friday, March 6, 2009

Howdy Pardner! (said in a thick American accent)

On the train home from work 

What I saw, and er, smelt:
I seen him in the flesh...the Human Prune. Don't know about him? Read on, it may trigger something. 

Going home is a rush. I always want to make it to the sanctuary that is my bedroom as quickly as possible. Therefore I walk the London walk (very fast and dodging all those that are slow). As I reached the station to catch the train I passed by an old man with a dog, both walking really slow. I remember a cowboy hat and a tan jacket. As I sat on the train, lo and behold, in he saunters. Oh he made it, I think to myself. 

"Can somebody please give up a disabled seat for me?" he says quite loudly. I had placed my arse next to a disabled seat so the gentleman next to me hastily gets up and volunteers his seat. So Human Prune sits next to yours truly. I take a closer look. Yip, definitely a Human Prune. I have not seen dryer skin than perhaps on a piece of biltong.*

Along with the cowboy hat, and fringed tan jacket, he is also wearing cowboy boots. I can  immediately place him in a Western movie, where his wild cowboy ways are tamed by a Native American influence. Cliche after cliche run through my mind. Maybe he did screen hop from a movie into this reality?

Ever  so slowly he sits down and I notice his dog has a metal chain rather than a lead made from material. The doggie looks like a husky - big and proud. But he has that I-need-a-bath smell. Then my nose sniffs the Human Prune and there is a mixture of sweat and alcohol. Blech. They both have a I-need-a-bath smell.

Not wanting to be rude, I quit staring and happen to glance at a lady opposite me. Immediately, we both know we were both staring in fascination at this smelly wrinkled man and dog combo. She looks at me as if to say: Shame, you are stuck next to a weirdo. I shrug in reply: there is nothing I can do. And we smile at each other. Not a word spoken but a good conversation regardless.

*South African dried meat, similar to beef jerky. And yes, it is said to be dried in the sun. 


Tanu Anand said...

wow! well described..and oh poor u stuck next to the Prune! but i am sure the dog was anyday worth staring at! :)

Raghav said...

well described indeed, but i feel sorry for him, somehow...